Doug Haslam

Gischeleman: "To Create With the Mind"

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Social Media Top 5: Social Media ailments? Don’t hold your breath for a cure

Time again for my Social Media top 5, a weekly round-up of items, real and imagined, from the world of the Internet and social media:

Email apnea seems to be a real illness. Do people stop breathing when they read email? Another reason to wean yourself off. there are certain emails that might make me stop breathing, but most of them would be from the HR department.

Anyway, here are 5 other Internet/social media-related ailments I see down the road:

1. ooVoo Mouth: constantly discussing one of the new Internet “shiny objects” can actually bring to life what we thought was an urban legend; yes your face can “feeze that way.” Look what happened during the My ooVoo Day promotion, when one video chat host said “ooVoo” one too many times:

ooVoo Mouth

I could only look on helplessly.

2. Facebook Zombification: you thought “Zombie bites” were harmless, didn;t you? That notion is so wrong, George Romero just made a movie about it:

zombie

3. Twitter clipping: the tendency for heavy microblogging addicts to cut off their sentences, no matter how well constructed, after 140 charac

4. Utterz confusion: conducting conversations across several different Internet-based platforms, and not being able to remember where the conversation started, or where the best nuggets and ideas reside. Symptons are disorientation, dizziness, and nausea. (not tied to Utterz, but heck the name is cool). I discussed a benign version of this ailment here.

5. Seesmagoraphobia: an acute condition, signified in extreme cases, largely by Seesmic, Utterz and some YouTube users, by a preference for recording badly-lit webcam “bon-mots” and waiting for replies over face-to-face human interaction.

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6 Responses to Social Media Top 5: Social Media ailments? Don’t hold your breath for a cure

  1. howard greenstein says:

    I was going to comment here but then I thought I would make a video or audio response. nah.

  2. I definitely think I suffer from Twitter Clipping, I hope they continue to search for a cure :) Thanks for some nice light hearted fun reading, sphunn http://sphinn.com/story/29012 :)

  3. Oh a joke. I get it. … humour. :P I actually took this seriously for about 10 minutes. Internet Police will be here soon. “Put the Mouse DOWN and back away from the keyboard NOW”. Serves me right

  4. Gosh, I am super-glad there are still humorous bloggers online. You broke my ooVoo Mouth with a very huge smile! Thanks, mate!

  5. Don Lafferty says:

    That’s ooVoo mouth? And here I thought Chris was practicing chimpanzee linguistics for his upcoming blog on bringing lower primates back to the social media conversation.

    And what do you call that look on your face, Doug? ConfooZoon?

  6. Doug Haslam says:

    Glad people are enjoying this, even if it is taking some of you awhile (Laura :))

    Don, I think I have a look of BeMooZment

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